To the writers of “The Game” on BET…You should all be benched… January 12, 2011
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Dear Writers of “The Game,” “Writers of “Let’s Stay Together” and BET as a whole,
Allow me to say that I am thoroughly disappointed in last night’s programming. After all the weeks and months of hyping up the return of “The Game” and the premier of “Let’s Stay Together,” you delivered none of what the people were waiting for and that is sad.
How dare you think that we as viewers can only be entertained by such foolishness? Do you not think we have the ability to reason and think above a 4th-grade level? Yes, many of us were entertained when Jerry Springer and Maury Povich first became highly popular, but many of my generation were in high school and college at that time. Now we are mature, intelligent, educated adults and we demand more.
For you to think you had to sink to such a low level at an attempt to “entertain” us is an insult of the highest order. Because this is a show on a Black-owned network and has a predominately African-American cast, there should have been a level of responsibility felt by the writers, producers and owners. You projected “successful” African-Americans as loud, rude, ghetto and all together ridicuous. Was there really a need to reference “red Kool-Aid” or for Tasha to be smoking a cigar? How about punching a hole in the wall or the way Brittany acted towards her parents?
Imagine had this been someone of another race’s first time being introduced to Black people in America. What kind of portrayal did this send? Had this been done by a White cast or a White network, there would have been marches up and down, left and right, sideways and backwards for the show to be cancelled or done over. Yet is it supposed to be acceptable because it was done by other Black people?
For those of us that have watched shows with quality writing, we know that better writers are available. You need to consider hiring them or canceling the show all together. Both episodes were pure coonery at it’s best (and worst) and it is unaccpetable.
By the way, if you’re looking for a new writer, please send me an inbox message. I’m available.
Sincerely,
Tiffany
For all of us that have ever been hurt, rejected or disappointed… January 30, 2010
Posted by tippoftheiceberg in economy, Facebook, marriage, parenting, politics, relationships, religion, social sites.Tags: African-American, children, church, death, disappointment, drama, family, female, getting over, grudges, hate, hurt, letting go, loss, love, male, marriage, pain, rejection, religion, trials, trust, White
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Okay, so this blog has been pressing on and nagging at me for about 2 weeks now. I’ve been putting it off over and over again for one reason only: the message in it is as much for me as it is for anybody else.
So the usual disclaimers apply. Let’s jump right in, shall we?
Okay, so when 2009 was on the way out, everybody and their mama was yelling about a new year, new changes, new everything. Out with the old and in with the new…yada, yada, yada!
Letting go of the past is so important, but people, this is sooo much easier said than done. Sometimes we’re holding on to grudges and issues from the past and don’t even realize it.
There are people that can’t function in their current relationship, because they’re holding on to issues from what an ex did. There are women that have stopped dating ALL men, because a man hurt them. There are men that have sworn off ALL women, because a woman did them wrong.
There are women that mistreat their child or children, because they ended on bad terms with the child’s father.
There are people that have abandoned their church or their religion or God all together, because of a bad experience with one church or one church member.
There are families that don’t speak to other parts of their own family, because of grudges being held by OTHER family members. Sometimes older family members are mad about something from the ’60s or ’70s and it has simply trickled down into the younger generations. Many times, they don’t even know WHY they can’t visit Aunt Sue or Uncle Frank.
And then there are those that refuse or ignore friend requests from people who bullied them in 3rd grade or junior high. Years have passed, but they’re still remembering and holding on to something that happened when they were 11 or 12.
And my personal favorite: Those who have been mad so long until they’ve forgotten what they’re mad about!!!
While it takes time and energy and patience to make changes, the biggest thing is you WANTING to make the change!!!
When we hold on to baggage and drama and nonsense from the past, we hurt ourselves and keep ourselves from reaching full potential and several aspects of our lives. Ex’s have moved on and gotten with other people and re-married and had kids and we’re still thinking about “our song.” Or talking trash about them to anybody that will listen (you know people like this. You meet them and within 10 minutes, you know their life story).
If you’re still arguing with relatives about money owed from 10 years ago or who makes the best macaroni and cheese or who got Grandma’s silver when she died, please build a bridge and get over it.
If a classmate bullied or teased you or called you names 25 years ago, don’t you think it’s about time to bury that, as well?
Don’t wait on people to apologize (sometimes they don’t even know they’ve offended you in the first place). And that gives the other person WAY too much power. Forgive them. Let it go. Completely. Not just in words, but in actions, too. Smile at them. Write them a letter. Shake their hand.
By doing this, YOU take the high road and you also take back the power they have had over you for so long.
Dear Mr. Reid… January 11, 2010
Posted by tippoftheiceberg in economy, Facebook, marriage, parenting, politics, relationships, religion, social sites, Uncategorized.Tags: Barack, BHO, chairman, congress, democrat, harry, house, independent, leader, leadership, majority, Michael, mike, Obama, parrty, politics, POTUS, President, racist, reid, republican, senate, speaker, steele, washington
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Dear Mr. Reid,
The comments you made were despicable and dishonorable. To refer to Mr. Obama as having a better chance of winning the election, because he could basically stop sounding “Negro” at will is simply unbelievable.
I would, however, like to thank you for giving minorities a wake up call and a reality check. So many minorities believed that racism in America came to a dead stop with the election of a half-Black candidate and also choosing Mr. Steele as the head of the Republican Party. But surprise, surprise. It’s not over and probably never will be…at least in our lifetime.
Mr. Reid, as a double minority (both female and Black), I have experienced my share of racism. Believe me when I say you are the worst kind of racist. After all, we are not afraid of the Neo-Nazis and the members of the Aryan Nation and the Skinheads and the members of the Klan. As horrendous as their ideologies and beliefs may be, at least they’re upfront and real about it. Therefore, we know to watch them carefully.
It’s the undercover racists that are the scariest. The ones that laugh and smile and joke with minorities. The ones that “welcome” progress and change in front of people, but make the racist and stereotypical jokes behind closed doors. The ones that say things about Blacks loving fried chicken and watermelon and always being late. The ones that laugh about Hispanic names and saying “oh he’s Latino; must be Mexican and can’t possibly be here legally.” The ones that think all people from Middle Eastern countries are Muslims and, therefore, have to be terrorists.
Be real, sir. Be yourself. Don’t hide and lie and be undercover about it. Be the same all the time. This is not about sides and party line affiliations. It’s about being what you are and being the same way all the time.
You should be honest. You should be upfront. But most of all, you should be removed from your office.
End of story.
Sincerely,
A brown-skinned, African-American female that can also sound “Negro” from time-to-time
To anyone that is being or has been effected by the recession… January 11, 2010
Posted by tippoftheiceberg in economy, Facebook, marriage, parenting, politics, relationships, religion, social sites, Uncategorized.Tags: African-American, assistance, Black, economic, economy, employment, food stamps, foreclosure, governemnt, hardship, help, issue, jobs, modern, recession, repo, slavery, unemployment, welfare, women
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WE’RE IN A RECESSION…I’m sure we all know that by now. And no, this isn’t just some government hype or some distant idea that only affects “others.” EVERYBODY knows somebody that has been touched by the economy. Repossessions and foreclosures are off the charts, homeless shelters can’t keep pace, jobs are laying folks off by the hundreds and NO job is safe.
I often think back to being in high school in the late 90′s (yeah, I’m telling my age). Jobs were plentiful. You could quit a job in the morning and have another one by noon. In 12th grade, I had 3 jobs (by choice)!!! Now, even a degree isn’t a guarantee of employment. People with advanced degrees are working in fast food and convenience stores. It’s the new reality.
So here’s the question: Should there be rules in order to get assistance? Should people be drug tested in order to receive unemployment benefits? Have you earned that money and, therefore, are entitled to it? Or should it be that if you can’t afford food, you can’t afford drugs?
And for single women receiving government assistance, should there be rules, too? Should there be a limit on how long someone can receive benefits? Or should women that receive benefits be forced to be on birth control? Does it matter whether or not it’s WIC, welfare checks, Section 8, food stamps, daycare assistance, etc…? Should there be a limit to the assistance? Is this an unnecessary strain on the government? What about generation after generation of the same family living this way? Should this modern version of slavery be acceptable?
Is any of this an added burden on the government and tax payers?
Your thoughts, please…
Fight or flight…your help, please January 3, 2010
Posted by tippoftheiceberg in Facebook, marriage, parenting, relationships, social sites.Tags: abuse, domestic violence, fighting, love, marriage, partnership, relationships, sex
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Okay, so here we go with the first blog for 2010 and the topic is a bit like an open wound: it’s a sore spot but won’t get better unless it’s touched. So let’s all get together and touch this one, okay?
Let me start by saying that this blog is personal to a lot of people and even though I’m basing it on a few recent conversations I’ve had, it has been the topic of many, many conversations among friends and girlfriends and it’s a battle that many are having within themselves. Let me also say that I didn’t include the names of the people asking for this advice at their request. Now that we have all of that out of the way, let us begin…
So it’s 2010; a new year and a brand new decade. Time for changes and progress and resolutions and all that good stuff. And NOWHERE is that more important that in the relationships we have with our significant others. Now is the time for bad relationships to get better and great ones to be magnificent. Time and attention being paid to each other’s needs is imperative and shoring up the walls against attacks from outsiders is of the utmost importance.
So here is the question of the hour: Should an individual stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of their child(ren)?
Guy number one has been married for about 5 years and has 2 kids. His wife has become a selfish, spoiled princess. He told me she refuses to compromise and if he threatens to leave, she threatens to take him to court for child support and alimony and if they do argue, she reminds him that she can go back home to her parents at any time. BUT this guy grew up in a 2-parent household and insists that his children should, too.
The female I spoke to has been married for about a decade and has 3 children. Her husband is verbally and emotionally abusive and has beaten her self esteem down to nothing. She has no job, no job skills, no degree and no transportation. But because of the kids, she feels she has to stay with him.
And the final guy married his high school sweetheart. Things were great while they were dating, but once he “put a ring on it,” things went downhill FAST. She refuses to take care of him or even herself, won’t dress up or go anywhere and has neglected him completely when it comes to bedroom concerns. But because he grew up without his father, he’s staying to keep his children from going through the same thing.
So with life being so short, should people remain in miserable marriages simply for the sake of the children? Is that doing the honorable thing? Are the children better off in a happy single parent home or an anger-filled 2 parent home?
I have several friends that are depending on your advice, so please think about this and give your opinion or share your experiences.
Thanks!
The Weight-ing Game…My blog about weight gain and my generation October 30, 2009
Posted by tippoftheiceberg in Facebook, marriage, parenting, politics, relationships, religion, social sites, Uncategorized.Tags: 1997, diet, exercise, gain, generation, loss, my generation, weigh gain, weight, x
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Okay, so this is just a basic life blog. It’s not a rant (at least I don’t plan on it being one!), but it’s been on my mind so I’m gonna put it on paper. The usual disclaimers and what not apply so let’s get into this one, okay?
So let me start by addressing MY generation, because that’s the one I know the most about. Those who are 30 or really close to it, whether younger or older. The ones that graduated from high school around 1995, ’96, ’97, ’98, or ’99. Those that grew up watching Doug, and Saved by the Bell, and Beverly Hills 90210. The people who played Oregon Trail and Number Munchers on the computers that weighed about 600 pounds. The generation that remembers when the Internet first became mainstream and that used to carry pagers (even though adults said they were only for doctors and drug dealers…lol). The generation that watched and remembered the impact of Columbine, Oklahoma City, the O.J. Simpson fiasco and September 11th. These are my peers.
So let’s go back to childhood for a minute. The days of playing outside ALL DAY LONG…literally. From sunup to sundown. Dodge ball. Kickball. Red light, green light. Mother, may I? Freeze tag. Double Dutch. Hopscotch. The days of penny-candy stores (shouts out to all those that remember Mom’s!!!)
Now many people in my generation (and other generations, of course) are struggling with weight and other health issues, like diabetes, high blood pressure, etc…And growing up when we did: it’s totally understandable why.
We grew up in the age of school lunches being based on taste and flavor. And there were the occasional classroom birthday parties. But the holidays, oh the holidays. There was a party for Halloween, Christmas, and Valentine’s Day, and then end of school parties. There were popcorn parties and some parties were for no reason. Then there was the party list (ya’ll remember those), where everybody wrote down what they were bringing. There would be cakes and cupcakes and chips of all kinds and drinks galore.
Add to that the fact that we were the generation that saw the birth of high quality, multi-dimensional video games and also the Internet (no, it didn’t always exist). So why go outside and play? After all, the newest Super Mario or Sonic or Madden was available.
So for any and all of you that have struggled or are struggling with weight issues, understand that the odds were stacked against many of us from the start. Add to that genetics, grandma Sunday dinners, and the ready availability of fast food and some didn’t have a chance.
Your thoughts, please…
In reference to the RHOA tragedy…my rant… October 3, 2009
Posted by tippoftheiceberg in Facebook, marriage, parenting, politics, relationships, religion, social sites.add a comment
Okay so I took a brief hiatus, and now I’m back. I soooo missed it, but I needed the time off and I’m going back to chillin’ after I put this one out. Every now and then something happens and you just HAVE to say something, so this is one of those times.
It’s a rant…there are no disclaimers, no promises and no apologies…So let’s get to this one…
Okay, so apparently the fiance of one of the Real Housewives of Atlanta (sorry, I don’t know her name, because I don’t watch the show) was assaulted and killed at a club. And, let me start by giving my condolences to her, her family, his family and their friends. Death is always a sad and tragic event and should not be taken lightly. Now with that out of the way…
WHY ARE PEOPLE ALWAYS SHOCKED AND STUNNED WHEN SOMETHING TRAGIC HAPPENS AT A CLUB?!?!?
Come on, people. How many times have we seen or heard about something similar to this? At least 50-100. Possibly more. And the demographics and specifics do NOT matter. White clubs, Black clubs, Hispanic. Gay or straight. Rich and famous people (Remember Jay-z, Diddy, Plaxico Burress just to name a few), common people. Party clubs, strip clubs, biker clubs. IT DOESN’T MATTER…
Pick up just about any newspaper from any portion of the country on any given weekend, and you can pretty much find a story about a fight, assault or murder that occurred either at a club or from the results of something that started in a club. And what’s even MORE amazing? There can be a tragedy at a club on a Friday and then the next night…the line is around the corner!!!!
Then after the tragedy, here comes the friends, family, reporters, bloggers and tweeters…”This is so shocking…so tragic…we’re surprised…who would have guessed…we’re amazed…” No you’re not. Don’t even kid yourself. Yeah, you may be surprised that the particular person is gone, but that it happened in the club? Really?
Let’s get this straight. If they got killed, hurt or assaulted at the library, in church, at work or at school, then let’s all do the surprised face. Let’s all do better to make these places safer and so on. But the club, by nature, is a dangerous place. First of all, they’re typically dark. Second, they tend to be crowded. Then a lot of times, the music has violent lyrics (Remember the song “Tear the Club Up?”). And the final ingredient? Alcohol. The fact that metal detectors are even needed speaks volumes.
So let’s do better…and let’s remember: Yes, we are surprised and saddened when people are taken suddenly from us, but clubs are dangerous…it’s plain and simple.
Just my opinion…
Married Single Parent Syndrome… September 29, 2009
Posted by tippoftheiceberg in Facebook, marriage, parenting, politics, relationships, religion, social sites, Uncategorized.Tags: African-American, Black, children, chores, discipline, help, house, household, issues, marriage, men, parenting, parents, problems, responsibility, single, success, tag team, White, women
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Let me start by thanking each of you that read, share and comment on my blogs. The feedback, both positive and negative, serves as inspiration and encouragement for me. It make me strive to work that much harder to keep the readers I already have as well as gain more.
I’d also like to say that this will be my last post for a while. It’s not that I’m getting burnt out or anything, but in the VERY near future, I plan to be doing this for a living…and that’s all I’m going to say about that.
Okay, now that all of that is out of the way, the usual disclaimers apply. This is my blog and I like it that way, these are the things my mind tells me to say. My thoughts into words for others to enjoy, and the method of expression I choose to employ. Hope you enjoy and agree, and if not, I hope there’s still love from you to me. Got it? Good…let’s go!
I was once a single mom. And as any single parent can and will tell you, it’s one of the most rewarding jobs in the world. You get to watch your child (or children) grow, learn and mature and find their place in the world. They give you memories that will last a lifetime.
BUT…it’s also one of the hardest. You and you alone are totally responsible for the welfare and well being of your offspring. You have to take care of them when they’re sick, handle all the E.R. and school visits, and participate in the parent/teacher conferences and extracurricular activities as well. You are responsible for keeping them safe and protected. You have to make sure they have child care for sick days, weather delays and cancelled sitters and closed daycares. You have to use YOUR personal, vacation or sick time for their sick and injured days. You buy the clothes, shoes and toys and you have to keep their hair done or cut. Yeah every now and then a grandparent, sibling, godparent or friend might step in for a relief mission, but when it all comes down to it…IT’S ON YOU!!!
And to a certain extent, that is to be expected.
BUT…
Are those same things to be expected once you’re married? I have many married friends who are basically still single parents. I get messages and emails weekly about this issue, guys.
One parent does everything for the child(ren). They do all the laundry, keep up with the homework and projects, the do all the grocery shopping, cook, clean and bathe the kids, too.
Now I understand that there are special situations. In some cases, one spouse may travel for work or be deployed. And, of course, there are those that are stay-at-home moms or dads.
But for “normal” households, was this what was signed up for and expected?
In most households, IT TAKES 2 PARENTS to handle it all. Cooking, laundry, cleaning, discipline and quality time takes patience, time, energy and money. And it is NOT fair for all of that to fall on one parent.
IMHO…
Know your role & handle your business…Meeting your partner’s needs… September 27, 2009
Posted by tippoftheiceberg in Facebook, marriage, parenting, politics, relationships, religion, social sites.Tags: love, marriage, needs, parents, relationships
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To make this quick and simple: This is a blog…it’s my blog…it’s MY opinion…forgive any mistakes…feedback is welcomed…Now that we’ve covered that, let’s move along, shall we?
Okay for those of us that have a job (or jobs), we pretty much know our BASIC job description, right? Of course the description may change from time to time and we may get a different assignment here or there, but the BASICS are pretty much a given. Now if there is a problem, the supervisor tells you about it, gives you a chance to improve and then re-evaluates. Sooo if you don’t make the necessary changes, it should come as no surprise when you’re suspended, terminated or replaced.
(Are you guys following me so far?)
So let’s transfer the same line of thought to relationships.
Guys, our significant others have needs. (We all know that, but sometimes we need to be reminded). And regardless of if we agree with it or not, we have to be considerate.
Your wife or girlfriend may need time with her girlfriends or like to be kissed and held or have a need for compliments; they may even simply want more time with you. Ladies, your man may need time in his “man room” (nonsense) or time for golf or to participate in other activities and hobbies. And of course this works both ways…we ALL have needs!
NOW…it’s YOUR job to let your significant other know what your needs actually are. Assumptions are VERY dangerous in any relationship (especially in a marriage). Unless you married a psychic, you CANNOT expect your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, or whoever, to read your mind.
And finally, once your mate has told you what they need and want (physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually or otherwise), it’s up to you to meet their needs (within reason. If they’re requiring anything extreme or ridiculous or illegal…well, you be the judge of that…lol!) Please don’t simply be stubborn or forgetful or inconsiderate, because this can lead to a whole bunch of problems, issues and even 3rd parties…but that’s a whole different blog…
YOU IDIOT…a rant about Plaxico Burress, but for all of us… September 22, 2009
Posted by tippoftheiceberg in Facebook, marriage, parenting, politics, relationships, religion, social sites.Tags: Burress, decision, jail, NFL, Plaxico, prison, regrets, sports
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Okay so this is a rant…and I have NO disclaimers. Here we go…
Plaxico, what were you thinking? And why? You had it made in the shade. A great career, $25 million contract extension, beautiful wife and son, and endorsements, too. All you had to do was run and catch a ball, work out, travel and smile for cameras. THAT’S ALL!!!
But could you do that? Of course not!!! That would make sense. So instead, you decided to go into a club, in NYC of all places (those of you that know NY gun laws, you know why I said that), with a loaded gun…and to make it worse, the gun wasn’t even in a holster. Instead, the gun is just chilling in the waistband of your pants. So you go to adjust it and what happens? Yeah, it goes off and you shoot yourself…SMH…
This is not just for Plaxico, but for any and all of us…I have to believe that, before ANY stupid decision is made, a little voice says, “Is this the best decision for me to make?” Especially if you’re over 13 or 14. If you have to stop and hesitate, it’s probably not a good decision. (Why would he be going into this club if he felt he needed a gun for protection?)
In the future, and this applies to me as well, before making a drastic decision, think about the consequences. Especially if you’re making the decision in anger or under the influence. Think about how your spouse or children or parents may be affected. Could you lose your job? Is the risk worth the reward? Will you be proud of this decision in the morning?
If there is DOUBT, then DON’T!!! IMHO…
